Self-Healing and Integrating
Ok friend, let’s combine this month’s mindset with one of my favourite topics: Integrating (shadow Self) and self-healing.
How do these topics relate you ask?
You know I love when you ask these questions! So here are my thoughts on the subject / subjects.
This month we are talking about integrating the shadow aspects of Self. Part of us that we are not totally fond of, but maybe cannot shed or release, so we will choose to acknowledge them with love and let them be. Maybe this is some chronic pain that you have, maybe an acute pain. Maybe it’s your resentment, or judgement. Maybe it’s your victim mentality. As always, the list goes on. Regardless of whether its mental, emotional, or spiritual your “shadow aspect” can manifest into your physical reality, usually through physical ailments – don’t believe me, hello! My life is a perfect example, check out My Story. The really cool thing, and a bit of a missing link in Western science and medicine is the correlation between parts of the body and different ailments or dis-ease. There are definitely modalities that treat and look at this, but I’m speaking broadly here. There are also the times when these ailments and dis-ease do not physically manifest into something easily or traditionally diagnosable.
This is where self-healing comes into the story. Nowadays if you want to really “heal” you have to take big steps and really advocate for your own health. When you are not satisfied with the answer YOU are the one that must keep digging, keep pushing. I have said before, if I had waited based on what my doctor said (again not a shot at doctors, more recognizing faults in the system as a whole) I would be hopped up on pills for chronic pain, mystery pain, anxiety, stomach problems and who knows what else.
The first part of this is dealing with this for me was dealing with my victim mentality. Hello major stumbling block. This is hard! As humans it’s really hard to take ownership of our shit. To not point the finger blame and judge others – our ego fricken loves that! This is where it thrives! As we aren’t focusing on the marginally impossible task of ridding ourselves of ego, we release and shed the parts of our victim mentality that we can, and we integrate the rest. When I get mad at the treatment I received from a practitioner, or maybe the way a friend or family member is handling a situation I don’t (ok, I try not) to go into blame mode, or judgement mode of “you need to [insert ego superiority statement here]”. I notice I have been triggered, take a deep breath, let it settle and then continue to listen. Maybe I change practitioners. Maybe I gently tell a story relating to what they are going through and what I did, or “have you ever heard of or tried [this], my friend said it really helped them”. I make the choice of action through love, not fear. We are all on this path together and all have the same journey. But not everyone is ready to deal with their shit, and that is OK! All in their own time. What’s that saying… you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.
The second part of self-healing is being open. Open to trying new things, open to the idea that the answers lie within. Being human is fun and weird. We might hear all the time that we have all the answers; but you don’t have to do it alone. Look within yourself, you are the master; follow me I can fix you. So on and so forth. Theres a fine balance in self-healing between looking inward and dealing with (acknowledging) your own shit and requesting guidance from an outside source. Sometimes your body needs that manual shift from a practitioner because you just can’t release it all yourself. That therapy session is helpful because too much is going on in your brain and some guidance or clarity is helpful. This is all great. But you cannot rely on others to heal you, you cannot give your power away and expect to be whole. Healing (or self-healing as I tend to refer to it) requires a great amount of accountability. You cannot hang out in that victim space. You will need to do the work on your own end to make everything come together. You could see a chiropractor every week for the rest of your life, but unless you want to heal, do the exercises they give you, make the adjustments they suggest, look at your diet and lifestyle; things will not change. I use this as an example because I have heard these stories dealing with my own “chronic” issues. I can get all the treatments I want, but if I don’t get up and stretch or go for my walks, it all goes back. If I don’t sit up straighter in my chair, take breaks to walk. If I don’t assess the stressors in my life, I will continue to tense my neck and shoulders. If I don’t address my diet, the inflammation will keep my nerves misfiring or my digestion from working properly. You need to be open to making changes recommended by a professional. They are just there to help you and share what they know. The rest is up to you. It’s always a case of take what you like and leave the rest. But if you don’t change, how can your body?
The last, but also first, but also only thing is: love! Love yourself. Wherever you are at have kindness and compassion. The more stress you have about healing or your mindset, or your eating, or treatments, or [insert pain point here] the more difficult you are making it on yourself. Healing takes time. It’s frustrating and there are setbacks. I constantly get excited that I am “better” and then something new comes up. That is just the nature of healing and the human experience – there is always something new to experience. I let myself get frustrated, I even let myself mope for a bit, but I always let it go after the moment. Look for the new lesson, or maybe the reminder that I am falling back into old patterns. I always say thank you for the gift of my pain (honestly, I actually do this now, it’s not just some airy-fairy thing I’m saying) even though I might swear a bit at the same time. I choose to see the process with love and compassion. Integrating this is a part of my human experience, shedding the poor me victim mentality.
I hope this has made some sense. I hope you find this helpful. If you are ready for those steps start to reconnect with your Inner Being, check out the Intuitive Wellness Toolbox for modality options, but mostly listen to your inner wisdom and guidance – it knows the way. Your body has an innate desire to heal and be well. Let it do its thing!