Integrating your Shadow Aspects

Ok, this sounds like a lot of “spiritual” buzz words. However, in an attempt to make sense of what I am saying, sometimes it is easier to use those words that people are more familiar with.

Now I know you are asking yourself why we spent so much time talking about shedding and releasing, if I was just going to tell you that you can just integrate aspects of self. Or why I would tell you love this, light this and then say… hey we all have shadow selves, that’s ok.

So let’s talk about this a bit.

My idea of integrating… this is somewhat of a nod to yoga – bringing yourself into union. The world is full of duality: light and dark, yin and yang, masculine and feminine. One is necessary for the other to exist. Did you also know that they are “required” to be in balance for the other to thrive? Meaning if you are a woman, you do not want to be too “in your feminine” or you would just be lost in that. You need some aspects of the masculine to keep you functioning. For example, feminine energy can consist of sensitivity, creativity, stillness. But too much of this can cause you to be overly empathetic and open to others’ emotions. Too much stillness can cause you to become stuck in things that do not serve you. On the masculine side, you can have energy, motivation, and drive. However, and imbalance of this can lead to people pleasing and being a little obsessive. A balance of the masculine and feminine, lets you be driven to succeed in your passions, but take rest; excel as a leader, but understanding towards others and their mistakes. This goes back to “nothing is good or bad, it is only thinking that makes it so”. By integrating both these aspects of self, you become a balanced being. I prefer to keep “positive and negative” out of the conversation because that leads us to the whole good or bad topic and is very polarizing.

What do I mean by “shadow” aspects of Self?

These are the parts of you that you do not like, do not resonate with, or wish did not exist. However, life and being a human is not always that easy. Just because you do not like something does not always mean it will go away. The same is true for aspects of your personality. This does not mean you need to cater to these aspects of self, or parts of you that you do not resonate with; but it often means that you are being invited to acknowledge them. Carl Jung was a famous psychiatrist that coined this phrase, and it has since been used A LOT. These shadow aspects of Self are kind of like the ego. It’s there, you don’t always want it to be there, but it controls your impulses. Things like unconscious bias, playing the victim, projecting and judgment are all things that tiny little voice in your head may do to keep you feeling superior or “in the right”.

So why integrate this less desirable part of ourselves?

I guess this is up to you. But this goes back to the love or fear decision. If you are hoping to be “enlightened” or “one” or whatever your goal for this round of life may be, you will need to shed these aspects of self, or acknowledge and integrate them. Going back to the pesky ego, it can feel almost impossible to shed all these aspects of self, because to do that you have to be above judgement, bias, and projecting. This means taking a long hard look at yourself, your unconscious thoughts, your impulses and basically reprogramming your entire mindset. Now of course I am not saying this is not possible. But I would like us to be realistic and maybe work on baby steps for now. This practice can also bring up a lot of judgement towards ourselves – which also is not helpful! So, we must take it slow, be easy, gentle, and kind towards Self.

How to integrate?

Like everything else, this is a process. We will not love and accept all aspects of our Self overnight or a week or maybe even a year. It can take time. However, we can slowly work on it if we choose. Maybe you still react to people or situations from your shadow self, but you pause, take a breath, and do not react externally. Maybe you stress at work, think you are the only one that can do all the work and do it right, your boss has no idea how hard you work, the people helping you just don’t get it… ugh. But you take a step back, breathe, and realize that they might be learning, and you were in the position too; they may have had a bad day and need some compassion; their energy does not work like yours – you have (or force) a high masculine energy and could embody some feminine stillness, kindness, and creativity to reorganize the situation.

See what I mean when I say things do not need to be so one way or the other. The balance of both is what makes for a beautiful life. As you work to integrate these parts of yourself, have grace and be kind. Again, you do not need to force shedding aspects of Self that you do not like. This can cause a lot of fear in your Being as well. This is why we are integrating the shadow aspects. We are acknowledging them, letting ourselves know it’s ok they are there, and slowly working to choose again.

I hope this serves you and clarifies this month’s mindset from the LBC. It serves as a reminder that you can always choose again. You can always seek the wisdom and guidance from the energies / frequencies / beings of light and love for the highest and greatest good. They will not lead you astray (hence sometimes we like to clarify). When you feel uncomfortable in your messages, or maybe your thoughts, take a moment to tune into your Inner Being, clarify that your messages and thoughts are for the highest and greatest good, see if they are from your ego, your intuition, your guides, your Inner Being, or wherever else you get juicy rememberings.

Wishing you grace and compassion on your journey.