Self - Care Stigma and a Freedom Mindset
Hello Friend! This seems like a very timely topic after last weeks Journal entry.
Let’s take a moment to talk a little bit more about what I mean when I say “self-care stigma”. Do you find yourself shy or even guilty talking about getting a massage? Getting your nails done? Hair done? Working out? Making time to meditate, journal? Or anything else that makes you feel good?
If you answered “yes” to any of the above, that is what I am talking about. We are living in a society where it is almost taboo to take care of ourselves. I know, that sounds crazy. Yes, there is a constant borage of commercials for medicine and you see your doctor all the time, and all that jazz; but I’m talking about you actually taking care of yourself and things that make you feel good. Having quality of life, not just the next quick fix. Now, understand this is 100% my personal opinion on the matter, I am neither a doctor or scientist, etc, this is just from the healing journey and experiences I have personally had.
Our problem with healing ourselves is systemic.
We are trained and conditioned not to trust ourselves, or our bodies abilities and to actually consistently work against, or actively undermine, our own natural healing abilities. We are trained that no one wants to go down the road of healing themselves and putting in the work - trust me, 2 years, 6+ practitioners and $$$$$ later. We are trained to look for the quick fix, that it is “normal” to take one medication for this ailment, and another to treat the side effects. To go to the doctor and it’s “all better”. I heard a commercial the other day, and these literal words were said (or similar, I’m not paraphrasing to make a point)… “being overweight is a chronic disease, I can give you medication for that”. NO, laziness is a chronic diseased mindset. Yes, every body is different, and I go up and down in my weight (ok I don’t actually own a scale or believe in weighing oneself obsessively, my pants tell me 🤣). Weight fluctuation is also a result of my mood, the season in my life, the seasons outside, how motivated I am, how active I am. I have re-conditioned myself and re-trained myself to forgive the ups and downs, and look deeper. Ok my pants are tighter this month, well I have been feeling sorry for myself and haven’t worked out enough. Nice, my pants finally fit, I have been taking time with my meal prep and been more in tune with my meditation and yoga practice. I don’t try to shed blame outside myself when things are not going my way (at least in that respect, still practicing towards the Universe). I own up to where I have more or less let myself down, and where I can change my routine and practices to better support my well being. But yes, in most cases people think that mindset is crazy! You are in so much pain, just go see your doctor. Listen. I went to my doctor during my mystery illness, and I got no where. Take these pills and come back when you’re in less pain and we will assess. Oh? Your pain is gone, well problem solved. No, problem not solved, problem band-aided, and absolutely no idea what the problem is!!! That was not a solution for me, I want to live a life of Freedom, not dependance. I understand the stats, there are free programs for the chronically ill, and no one wants to put in the work - half the time I don’t want to put in the work, but that is an issue with the system. I do not blame the doctor, that is their training and schooling. I would not blame the individual patient (not all of them) either. I also do not want to undermine the fact that this path is not for everyone, some need the medicine, and doctors, and bed rest. I know how privileged and lucky I was to be able to be able to choose this healing path.
Shame and Self-Care
One of the biggest things that I feel ashamed about with my self-care and healing routine is the bouji treatments that I require. I go to the chiropractor, that’s normal. I have a pilates rehab trainer, that’s ridiculous can’t I just do that myself? I see the physio or osteo, that is ok, but getting a massage is unnecessary. I tend to feel quite sick after an osteotherapy treatment, it impacts my system so much that I am down and out basically with the flu (YES, just aches and pains, nothing more dramatic, no viruses) for 2 or 3 days after. I have learned that a few (even 1) sauna treatment clears that up for me, and I am fine. But seriously? I pay to go and sit in a sauna, and call that a treatment? Well… my options are 2 days of bed rest or 2 sauna treatments and live my life. See the value there? I do now, I just have to get over the story in my head that I don’t need that, I’m not worthy of feeling good, I need a doctor or outside source to heal me, I can’t have a pain free life, etc. In me saying all this can you see the conditioning? Can you see the mindset we all have towards our health and wellbeing? Can you see why I believe self-care and freedom or sovereignty over your own body is so important?
The same goes for my morning routine. I know how lucky I am that I no longer have to go to an office. But it doesn’t mean I don’t work! I have invested a lot of time and effort into cultivating a life that I want to live. A life that makes me happy, lights me up, sets my soul on fire. Part of that is understanding the importance of my morning routine, and making a commitment to myself that I will not give up on it. Therefore saying that I will not give up on myself. Nowadays, when I start to feel unwell, get really sore, end up back in a lot of pain; I step back and review my life. Is my morning routine intact? Am I taking care of myself? Am I feeding my soul with Fun and Freedom? More often than not, the answer to any of those is no, if I start to slip back into my old ways, my pains return. It’s my higher self’s (Source, Universe, God, Whatever You Want To Call It) way of reminding me of my commitment to myself, or the new soul contract I have created to live my best life in this current reality. Take a moment to assess your own life? Are you living the best version? Are you even on the path the happiness, or your best version?
A random side note:
Did you know that our body is actually made up of approximately 380 trillion, yes trillion, viruses?! On average we are a higher percentage of virus than any other matter. Something fun for you to look up. Dr. Zach Bush is a fun doctor and scientist to listen to on podcast, he has done lots of research on disease, viruses, human biome, soil, etc. Honestly, so fun! But why do I mention this? It’s all perspective! We are all free to believe what we want, but if any of you actually know me, you will know that I am prone to cold sores. Ok, so I got one last week. I decided to look at it from this alternate perspective of “what are you trying to teach me? what do you have to show me?”. Guess what?! It was a reminder that I have slipped from my practices and let stress creep back into my life (there is a correlation between cold sores and stress). I did a little self love / self care practice of looking myself in the eyes in the mirror, and looking at the cold sore, and thanking it for its message and appearance, telling it I no longer needed the message and it was free to go. So, its a virus (I know this is such a buzzword right now). It will still take time to move through my body, but guess what… It is by far the tiniest, quickest, least disgusting and obtrusive one I have ever had. So, call that whatever you want (making it all up in my head?!) I’m calling it a win. Just an example of how strong love can be over fear.
Self-Care and Freedom
Why do I think these 2 are tightly intertwined? Because your own self-care brings such a sense of Freedom. It is so satisfying to realize you are feeling better. It is so satisfying to feel FREE of your pain. Not to live in a fog of treatments covering and “managing” the pain. To take back control of your own wellbeing, and sovereignty over your body is such a fulfilling, satisfying, freeing experience. If you don’t believe me, next time try it. See yourself and your experience (or treatment) through a lens of love. Notice how you feel! Also, you can watch the documentary “heal” on netflix if it’s still there. Sure you could call it new age hogwash - that is what you are trained to believe. But if you choose (remember we all have free will and control of our own choices) to see it through a lens of Freedom and possibility, who doesn’t want to hear about a miracle every now and then?
Wishing you a miracle mindset and all the freedom of possibility ✨