Living in the Moment
I want to talk about something that I have really been trying this week (after our heavy topic last week) – to live in the moment. As always, I know what you are thinking, “I’m pretty sure I already do this” or “how the heck do I do that when I have to do [insert life activity]”. First, I hope you know that I love your egos questions, mine has the same! Second, as usual, let’s break it down.
Living in the moment, why?
That means the here and now, not focusing on what has happened in the past, not focused on what “should” (pesky should) be done in the future. Taking a second and enjoying the moment: that cup of coffee, that walk, your drive to work, the moment you get home and hug a loved one, maybe clearing your email inbox, checking that call, or meeting, off your list. Living in the moment doesn’t have to be a “spiritual activity”. You can use this practice all day, every day. It’s great because there are literally no rules! All you have to do is live in the moment, and when you forget, you choose to go back to the current moment. No one is telling you how to do this. There is no perfect way. You don’t have any boxes to check about it. No one to please. Living in the moment is strictly for you. Not in a selfish way either. Remember the concept of a happier you, allowing others to be happier and brighter? This is maybe the only goal of living in the moment.
The practice of living in the moment.
Ok so now you are more confused than when we began because this is such an abstract concept, and our ego has no to right and wrong to judge it with and also just has no place in “the moment” so it’s freaking out – haha. That’s ok. Take a big breath in, fill up your lungs, let your chest expand, release your belly. Hold. Now let it go, slowly, fully. BAM! You just had your first conscious in the moment, moment! Congratulations! How did it feel? Like nothing? Great. That’s the point. Living in the moment does just that, there is no before and after, it’s just the moment. So, all those trivial day to days and difficulties of our human existence just don’t matter.
Ok but for real life?!
What is your daily routine? What do you “have” to do? Yes, go ahead, write it down… I’ll wait. I love lists, why? Because you get all your thoughts out, they aren’t jumbled in your head, you can organize and prioritize. You don’t have to worry about forgetting something important. You don’t have to juggle it all and send your ego into importance overdrive. It’s out, its on a page. Done? Perfect! Now you can just take 1 item off your list and complete it, live fully in the moment of that. You get out of bed, maybe you shower. So focus on the shower – the clean, fresh, hot water (hello moment of gratitude) streaming over your body, the delicious smell of your soap. Take in the beautiful tile work, or your cute toes, maybe the fun little bubbles running down the drain. In that moment in the shower, that is all that exists, not the to do list after, not the kids or spouse to feed, lunches to pack… woah, that gets my heart racing just thinking about it. You are living only for that shower, right in that moment. Even if it’s a quick 2 second mom shower, revel in it. That didn’t work. Try again. That first sip of hot coffee or tea. The smell, the warmth radiating through your body, the rush as it makes its way through, the feel of the cup in your hand. If someone is pulling on your leg, or the news is blaring fear at you, or whatever else, tune it out for that quick moment – no one is going to die while you swallow, I promise. What about at work? Oh ya, the stress builds just thinking about it. That’s ok, that is your conditioning, we have smaller fish to fry at this moment. So, you have already told me how you don’t have time for a walk at lunch, or a coffee / tea break, or whatever else, trust me I was there too. But we are talking about moments, not life altering changes. The phone rings, you take a deep breath in and out before answering. Maybe you take your phone calls standing up so that your body gets some movement. You focus on that call, not the rest of the list, the disruption to the day, the extra thing you now have to do. You could get mad at the phone call, but here is the question: did you have to answer it? If yes, the ripple effect was going to happen anyways. If no, don’t answer it! Voicemail is a magical tool. Ok? So, you decided to stop being mad at the phone, maybe? Not for you? How about celebrating yourself when you check something off the to do list? Don’t let it just be another monotonous task, do a little happy dance when you complete a task, yay you! Then there’s the dreaded commute. You’re mad at everyone on the road, they are too slow, too fast, too aggressive, have a nicer car than you, it’s raining, the sun is too bright. I know… I have thought it all. Then I started giving my car rides over. I knew they needed to happen to get to and from work, I wasn’t going to change anything by being pissed the whole time so here are a few of my practices to be in the moment while commuting: a podcast, the radio annoys me, crappy songs, commercials, announcers that aren’t funny, so I remove that irritant, listen to something that lifts me up; the person driving fast and aggressive, I laugh, you aren’t getting there faster, chances are I see you at the next highway exit or stop light, likely you have felt that way before, rushing somewhere for something, so have a little compassion; the weather, let’s be honest, we can’t control that, so just give it up, get some good sunglasses, tint your windows, pull into a coffee shop and wait it out, be grateful the rain will water your garden or the lakes. You will get home when you get there, better relaxed, and safe, than stressed and agitated.
Do you see the theme here? Living in the moment is just that, the moment. It’s not about how you acted or reacted all day long, what you did or didn’t do. It’s that you gave yourself a quick second here or there. It’s that you recognized something wasn’t in your highest and greatest good and you let it go, or you chose to focus on love again, you brought yourself back to you. Simple recognition is living in the moment. Its small almost imperceptible changes that can have a lasting and cumulative effect. Just like we talked about with resolutions, you do not need to expect to change all your habits overnight, just change them to feel better in that moment.
Much Love.