Do you feel comfortable feeling happy?

Your first response upon reading this is of course… yes! 

But I want you to take a second to really think about it, really feel into your answer.

Now how do you feel? 

I will tell you how I feel when I think about being happy: awkward, fear, unworthy, undeserving, thoughtless, guilty. 

Ummmm…. What?!

I said happy, is that really what I feel when I really sit down and feel into my response to that question? Yeppers! Now you are thinking… Is this normal? Unfortunately, I think it might be. Firstly, it’s not your fault. Your pesky ego likes to keep you in a state of less than, seeking, striving. Secondly, so does your conditioning. You are programmed to feel bad, need the prescription, need the vacation, need the happy hour. Where is the commercial telling you to just be happy, love your life, be content in the moment? Nowhere, duh, there is no money in contentment and satisfaction. No this will not be a pessimistic rant. More just to bring awareness to your deeper feelings and mindsets. When I think about the times that I have tried to change my personality to be happier, more upbeat; people around me get triggered or uncomfortable - the good old, well you didn’t used to; or I feel guilty for being happy in the moment or loving my life, like I should be miserable and struggling like everyone else. I mean this was a huge trauma (yes, there are different levels to trauma responses) I had to heal from family conditioning, having people actually dislike me and treat me less than because I was happy, accomplished, going places. That takes a deep root in your psyche. It changes how you function. Then that miserable attitude manifests in your physical being. Studies show that most chronic pain actually stems from immune function, or neuroprogramming, versus general physical health. It’s your body responding to the stress triggers (that fight or flight mode) it is constantly put into, it’s your bodies way of calling out for help. Think about when you are sitting down with an acquaintance for a drink, or a co-worker, or maybe even a family member. The small talk of “how are you?”, “good”… awkward pause… then you start to fill the silence with “well….. [list personal problems]”. You don’t actually feel comfortable leaving it at “good”, definitely not meaning it. You either don’t think they believe you, you don’t believe yourself, or you suddenly feel unrelatable. How many of the discomforts in your life are really yours? How many are there from your conditioning or ego just so you feel you fit in with those around you? Ever heard the saying – you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with? Let that sink in for a moment. Who are those people. Do you really want them as a reflection of you? Is that who you want to be? Do you feel the outcast if things are actually good. Ok I don’t want you to drop all your friends, move out and away from your family. This is just about awareness. Step 1 is just being aware of your own Being, we aren’t here to lay blame or start projecting onto others.

What would your life look like if you let yourself be truly happy? What are your fears about your life if you were truly happy? Maybe you already are happy and content, in which case I’m so pumped for you and would love to know your secret!! Maybe you only experience little moments of true happiness, which is also amazing and magical. That is a wonderful place to be, I applaud your journey and your ability to get there and recognize that. Unfortunately, I feel like most of us though are living in the limbo of telling ourselves we are happy, but not truly meaning it or understanding what that means. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t have an answer. I’m on that journey with you. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to bring awareness to it for all of our wellbeing. Imagine if we just spent that many more moments in a state of true awareness and happiness. That tiny almost imperceptible shift makes waves. You may think it alienates others if you are happy, but as we have discussed before, you cannot be held responsible for others reactions to you. But your elevated mood, your heightened energetic vibration can be shared with others, when you are in that space, you allow others to enter that space. Imagine if we all just slowly made that shift together. Maybe it's only 5 seconds in a day. Maybe it's only during that cup of tea or coffee, or on that walk. But just think of the magic possible. 

That is all I have for you. Just bringing an awareness to the vibration and energetic frequency that you hold, it is powerful and it is magical.

The light in me honours and acknowledges the light in you. Much love.