My 2022 Power Statement

“I feel like shit, and I don’t know why, please don’t ask”.

Ok I know what you are thinking… wow, easy girl! While I no longer feel like I need to justify a statement like this, let me break it down for you so you feel a little more comfortable using a version of this.

You wake up feeling a little off, moody, sad, mad, anxious, depressed, [insert your emotion here]. You don’t know why. But you have been conditioned that you either have to: a) talk it through and figure it out or, b) push it down. Maybe you go to work feeling like this, you push it down, ignore it, but everyone knows. Or you get out of bed and it’s written on your face, so your loved one knows. Then you get the dreaded question… “what’s wrong”? Everyone is just trying to be kind and caring. We are programmed to think we have to solve others’ problems. We are conditioned to believe that we have to appreciate this caring and concern. But do we? Deep down, does this really make things better.

I suffer from anxiety, it’s been diagnosed, I see a counsellor (psychotherapist to be exact) which isn’t news if you have been around here for a while. But whether you suffer from mental illness, or just the roller coaster ride of 2020/21/22/?? I think we could all benefit from learning to take some time and space with our emotions. When someone asks you what is wrong there is a certain aspect of our subconscious that starts looking to justify how we are feeling, forcing ourselves to figure it out. But when those emotions are irrational or illogical (which is often the case with mental illness and your revised neuropathways), or seemingly do not have a reason (hello unknown triggers) it can send you down a spiral that is very hard to get out of or stop. The biggest secret weapon that I now have in my Intuitive Wellness Toolbox is the power of saying “I don’t know”. It may sound like: “I’m upset, but I’m not really sure why right now”, “I’m not feeling great, I need some time to figure it out”, “Something has triggered me (made me sad/mad/angry/insert your emotion) I just need you to not ask right now because I don’t know why, I will talk about it when I’m ready”. These may seem like logical statements to you, or they may even cause you to get your back up. In my mind these statements are empowering! I’m a bit of a volcano. When I’m not myself, everyone around me knows. Whether we realize it or not, they can just tell, that negative emotion is coming off me in waves. This is when my husband starts walking on eggshells. No one knows what happened, but they can feel my seething. I’m stewing, I’m quiet, short, and abrupt; just waiting for the closest victim to spew my emotions on. The reason I feel this way? Most of the time, I have absolutely no clue how I got to that negative mindset, I have no logical reason to be in that anxious state. As part of a life with anxiety, sometimes you honestly just wake up that way, sometimes it’s a random trigger, sometimes it’s small things that have built up. Next thing you know someone is asking “are you ok?”. Having the freedom to say some version of “I don’t know” takes the power away from the emotions or mindset for me. It takes me out of the victim mentality, it creates an energetic boundary to protect me and the other person, and most importantly gives me time and space. In most cases, once I use one of those statements everything becomes clear. I’m either not upset anymore, or I can work through my feelings. I’m not saying everyone around you will be ok with you saying these words, to be honest creating boundaries like that will trigger a lot of other people. But for close loved ones, who feel helpless and lost, like they need to fix something for you, hearing “you didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just not feeling myself right now” can be the kindest thing you can do for both of you.

The magic of saying “I feel like shit”

Again, I know… this may sound awful at first glance. For me, acknowledging my emotions, good or bad, has been a major part of my healing practice. Getting in touch with my Inner Being, my own energy, distinguishing what is mine, or what is not, and most importantly how I want to feel on a daily basis was the biggest shift. Recognizing when I feel less than is a major part of that. Saying it out loud, whether to a loved one, my journal, or the trees, lifts the burden off my mind to solve the problem. Sometimes there really is no solution, it’s just a combination of little things that made you feel crappy, there is nothing to solve, your ego just needs some acknowledgment. Once you stop stewing, spiraling, holding all your thoughts and emotions in, you can’t stay in that stuck place. You have literally released them. It creates a shift, an actual energetic movement and realignment. Once you acknowledge something out loud, it’s out there, you cannot hide in your deep dark hole of despair. Something bigger takes over and helps you release it. Now, lying in bed wallowing saying I feel like shit, ya, you are going to feel like shit**. Trust me, I have done that version too. You need to change your environment, shift the energy. That is why you have the self-care practices you have. I can almost guarantee, you won’t feel worse, you may even feel a little bit better.

So… next time you are a little edgy, I invite you to borrow this practice. Take away the emotions power by acknowledging “I feel like shit”, empower yourself by saying “I don’t know why”, respect yourself enough to ask for space.

Much Love 🤍✌🏻

**a gentle reminder and disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. If you truly feel like shit and cannot let that go, or feel overwhelmed with despair, please seek professional help. I have a rather large toolbox of wellness tricks at this point, but I still have regular appointments with my counsellor. You don’t have to do it alone, there is no shame in wanting to feel better.