The Importance of Giving Up Your Victim Mentality
** I want to preface this with a side note. If you have been through a traumatic experience and still suffer from this, please seek medical help. Whether that be a doctor, therapist, or your choice of modality… you do not need to do this alone!
You find yourself going through life constantly thinking things are happening to you. The Universe / your life is against you. It’s so and so’s fault this happened to me. It’s not my fault such and such happened.
I invite you to take a moment and read those statements over again… inserting your pain points where needed and notice how they feel in your body. Go ahead, I’ll wait. It probably feels pretty icky doesn’t it. But realize that chances are you do that all day long. Unless you are extremely connected to your inner being and a Deepka Chopra or Ekhart Tolle, you probably suffer from some amount of victim mindset.
What this mindset does and how it effects you.
You might not realize, but your victim mindset actually helps to manifest the worst situations in your life coming to fruition. This was where I was living a few years ago. I thought everything and everybody were against me, so that was often what I got. My belief was so deep in these negative thoughts, and that is where my energy and vibration was. That is what I was signaling I was deserving of to Source / God / WhateverYouWantToCallIt. When I wanted good things, I never had a strong enough belief in myself to have the energy behind it. I could say, “I want this good thing to happen” but behind that I was in a victim mentality saying, but I know if this good thing happens something bad will, or it won’t work out, etc. So that is typically what I was getting back. When you can start to build a belief in yourself, you can start to move beyond your victim mentality and notice things are happening for you, not to you. Can you see the subtle shift there?
I will give you some real-life examples from my life.
1. Scenario: I was laid off from my “dream job” after moving home, purchasing a house and thinking I had it all figured out.
Old perception: Me balling on the floor, wondering how I am ever going to afford my house, why the Universe hated me, why nothing went my way. How that could even happen, I was so good at my job.
New perception: That life was never meant for me, I could have been happy with that job, but it never would have fulfilled me. I would have been stuck in a life I do not truly want.
2. Scenario: I have a brand-new car; get into an accident and total it 3 months later with only 3600 kms on it while rushing from my house to my parents to pick something up for house repairs on the weekend.
Old perception: Why am I always getting in accidents, I finally got a new car to safely get to work. I need to work, I need money to pay for this house, I don’t have the money for a new car, I will never get a deal like this again, etc.
New perception: I needed to slow down! Stop multi-tasking, stop stressing every little detail. Learn to take time for myself and to heal my body.
3. Scenario: My body shuts down and I end up stuck on the floor for 2 months straight in so much pain I can’t explain it.
Old perception: I can’t be here, this can’t happen to me, I need to get to work, I need to make money, I need to just power through it and keep on going. I need to take care of my boyfriend, the house, be available to help others, tidy things up at work, etc.
New perception: I am so grateful that happened to me. It forced me to slow down. It forced me to rely on and ask for help from others. It forced me to question the medical system and look outside it for answers and healing. It led me on this path to deepen my inner being connection and explore self-healing.
4. Scenario: A pandemic hits, causes world-wide chaos, everything is shut down or in lockdown.
Only perception: I have been training for this my whole life, I have trust in my body and my intuition and ability to heal. I will not get sick; this does not affect me.
I have released my victim mentality (usually). Most recently I was able to say to my counsellor, wow isn’t it funny that all this happened, and even if I wanted to give up and get a job, I basically couldn’t, so I have no choice but to trust in myself, trust in my path and trust this will all work out. Not that I would ever wish a pandemic on humanity, but I am choosing to see how this benefits me, not victimizes me.
I invite you to go back again and read through the scenarios and perceptions. Feel into how each resonates with your body and being. Notice if one feels better or worse. Notice if one sounds more like you. See if you can pick up on the subtle shift of too me vs. for me.
It is not always possible to give up your victim mentality on your own – this is where the ego thrives! The drama, the blame, the justification. It can be extremely scary to address this part of yourself, you can have a lot of fear of giving it up. This is your identity. Without your struggle, without your story, who are you?
Let me tell you something else I have also learned. People always say “suffering is part of the human condition”. I’m not sure I agree with that, the suffering part is a choice. But growth and expansion are always part of being a human. You are constantly learning, growing, changing, evolving, and that is ok; that is beautiful! We are here in this embodiment to have an experience, to learn a lesson. If it was completely easy, how would we learn from our misfortunes. Everything would just carry on the same, sunshine and rainbows. We need a little hiccup or mistake every now and then. It is in how you chose to react that will decide what kind of life you live.
It is your choice to make, I’m just here to share with you my version of it 🤍✌🏻