My Healing Journey: Part 1
This is Part 1, of a multi-part series. So multi-part that I don’t even know yet how many there will be!
I always thought “getting better” or healing is how much you can do and how fast you can do it. Recently, I learned that is FALSE! A big old load of hooey. Your healing will take as long as it needs to take, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to change that timeline. I’m sorry if that burst your bubble. Trust me, it burst my own. Here I was slowly “getting better”. So I added more to my routine. My hip, neck, shoulder, low back, and original “mystery injury” started to flare up again. I thought, this can’t be, I’m “getting better”. So I had an adjustment, went for a massage, physiotherapy, osteopathy, continued to practice my yoga, walked longer and faster, etc, etc. Until I finally clued in, as my pain was slowly getting worse… I cannot rush my healing.
Louder for those of you in the back (or just super stubborn like me): YOU CANNOT RUSH YOUR HEALING!
Your body is probably the smartest machine known to human kind - natural machine. You think you can outsmart it with a few extra “self care” activities. Nope. That body will tell you when it is ready. I would leave my physio thinking, wow my shoulders are sore. For a few weeks, I was stiff, I kept needing an adjustment. I was finally honest with my practitioner, and news flash: let’s back those exercises out, maybe your body is not ready yet. Cue a stream of curse words, and “how can I not be ready yet! It’s been a year!!!” Guess the body knows best?! My new “healing routine”? More is less. I let my body have time between workouts and treatments to adjust to the changes, let them settle, see how it responds. I continue to spend waaaay more time on my inner being. I find as I continue to heal internally, I feel releases in my physical body. I have learned that I am not only healing for myself, but I am also healing for my family lineage** and previous lifetimes (this will be a whole different topic).
When I calm down and relax into my healing I constantly get these signs and synchronicities to point me in the right direction. Regardless of whether you are a spiritual person or not, or what you believe in or know to be true, here are a few signs I have received which pointed me in the right direction. Just to get your own noodle working.
The first, was the obvious pain in my body from “over treating”. I was speaking with my friend, who is also one of my manual practitioners, sending this message about how frustrated I was that I was getting worse, but then was wondering if I should relax and slow it down? Maybe I was stressing out my body by trying to rush my healing. Well I write this big long message, send it and realize its 11:11. Now you may think thats a bunch of bull, you don’t believe in this and that. Whatever, I’m not here to argue with you, I chose to be open to universal signs because my previous way of thinking got me sick, miserable and stuck on the floor for 2 months. If you are interested in why 11:11 was confirmation for both of us that I had just “hit the nail on the head”, it’s because 11:11 is considered an angel number. There are numerous people (like beyond coincidence, you can look it up, read, and decide for yourself) that have synchronistic events that coincide with the timing of 11:11, and it is therefore believed to be guidance from God / source / the Universe / your spirit guides / whatever terms you chose. As you have free will on this Earth in your human existence, no being can force you into a choice, but if you chose to be open, you can find these little nudges and signs to give you the affirmation you may need. So, I was on to something. As opposed to a treatment or 2 every week, I now only do 1 or 2 a month. Instead of forcing hour long workouts, 5 days a week, I let 20 minutes be enough, or only do 3 days and mostly stretching. And I feel better than before.
Second, I started spending more time with myself again. I was getting lazy, I stopped making time for my meditations, for things that were fun and I enjoyed. I was so focused on my healing practices that I was no longer walking outside for the sake of being out in the fresh air connecting with nature, it was “how many steps did I get?”. The more connected to myself the more messages I received and more guidance on how to assist in my healing. Also the more I learned what I need to heal, and how. Now I tune in every morning to how my body is feeling and adjust accordingly. Like I said, I don’t force that 2 km speed walk, followed by hour of vinyasa or heavy exercise, followed by…. I check with myself, “do you want to walk this morning?”, “what do you need for a workout?”, etc. And guess what, I always have the right answers, and always feel better for doing what I want vs. what “I should do”.
Third, I received another treatment, called a Vagus Nerve Treatment (again, this will be a separate tangent) that was a distance treatment - yes, she was in her office, I was at home in bed, and it was a crazy download of information. Afterwards, on our follow up call, we discussed what we both experienced, my messages, and her practitioner insight on what she was feeling, hearing, seeing. Following up with her I was able to link numerous messages and pain points in my body, with past experiences, things I was already working on with a therapist, and learned how angry my inner child still is - as she was literally stomping her feet for both of us! Hmmmm… stomping feet, leg and back pain…. 🤔 After it all sank in we followed up again, during this follow up as I was connecting more dots with past experiences, messages I have received and her knowledge of the body, I’m speaking all these things to her, and my throat start to close up! So this could be a coincidence, or again this could be a little nudge to me that I am on the right track, because didn’t we talk in the treatment about my throat chakra. Well now my throat is mysteriously closing on me as I’m writing a text message?! Ok universe, I hear you!
Now, my healing is literally a practice of patience.
I’m not saying bail out on all your manual treatments, I still see: the osteo, physio, pilates rehab, chiro, RMT, therapist, soul guide, I don’t even know what else. The interesting thing about being so beaten down and sore and angry is that once you reach your rock bottom the only place to go is up, and it opens you to a whole new world of possibilities that you didn’t realize were there when you were just hovering, struggling to survive. You can sustain chronic pain, anxiety, sadness or so long, sometimes you need those serious moments that force you into change. Well, I have come to terms that this is what my change looks like, a full year and a half later and no, I am not “healed”. But I am better. I am happier, and I feel like even thought I still struggle everyday, I can tell there is progress and I am better equipped with tools to keep me from going back to where I was before.
Healing is a roller coaster, just hang on and let it flow ✌🏻
** A clarification on “healing family lineage”: you cannot heal, fix, or change another. You can only heal, fix, or change your relationship with that being, or a pattern / cycle you see that needs to be broken for future generations. Please, do not try to project your triggers onto another, heal yourself and love yourself first.